Secrets of attracting women: What makes a man attractive in the eyes of a woman? It’s the age-old question that has plagued mankind perhaps since the dawn of time.
Maybe you’ve been the guy at the bar recycling cheesy one-liners in hopes one will work.
Possibly you’ve been the man who can’t seem to get a female to look in his direction in spite of good cologne, wit, and charm.
Perhaps you are the last of your buddies to find a mate and that’s really starting to hit home.
Whatever your reasoning, learning what attracts women requires getting up close and personal with who you are as a man. You have to get rid of the myths and make way for some real truth on the matter. Follow the relationship section and keep up with the love and marriage article of Galgoli.
1. Be Confident
Secrets of attracting women: Do research, read women’s magazines, and look at the studies. One thing that almost always comes up at the top of the list of what attracts women is confidence.
Pure and simple, women are more drawn to a man who is confident in who he is, what he has to offer, and what he can achieve.
In one small study, two groups of men were given either a scented spray to wear or an unscented spray. The guys wearing the scented spray reported feeling more confident.
Most importantly, women who were shown pictures of guys from both groups found the men wearing the scented spray more attractive even though they obviously couldn’t smell a thing.
Because a confident man has this obvious air of capability about him
2. Just Be Kind
Secrets of attracting women: In psychology, a theory known as the halo effect describes the human tendency to assume one aspect of a person’s personality as a proxy for who they are as a whole being.
Being perceived as kind can easily have an effect on every other characteristic of who you are.
For example, a kind man can be assumed to be:
- A hard worker
- A mindful lover
- A giving person
Even more interesting, some studies suggest that being perceived as kind can also mean you are perceived as more attractive.
3. Make Her Laugh
Secrets of attracting women: A good sense of humor is thought to be attractive from both sides of the fence, but your sense of humor is far more important than hers.
Several psychological studies have shown that women find a man that can make them laugh more attractive. While both sexes want to be perceived as humorous, women value the production of humor more than men.
4. Show Her That You Can Be Selfless
Secrets of attracting women: There’s always something to be said for the attractiveness of a selfless man. A selfless man puts the needs of others, including the woman he’s with, before his own.
The selfless man:
- Offers to help
- Doesn’t complain about his inconvenienced self
- Respects the needs/wants of others
In the eyes of a female, seeing your selflessness with others shows her that you would be willing to make sacrifices to make her happy as well.
5. Be An Active Listener And An Apt Communicator
Secrets of attracting women: Women often speak more than men. They use more words and communicate in deeper, more heartfelt ways, oftentimes using more words to verbalize.
As a man armed with this knowledge, you should automatically know two things:
- Women are more attracted to men who know how to actively listen.
- Women expect a man who can communicate effectively with them during a conversation.
You may not talk as much as her, but what you say needs to matter. Work substance into your words, think before you speak, and be attentive to what she says so you can reply in a valuable way.
6. Practice Being A Non-Needy Man
Secrets of attracting women: Needy—it is such a simple term and we all think we know very well what it means, but do you know that neediness in a man is an all-out turn-off for most women?
The needy man doesn’t know how to accept defeat, isn’t willing to accept any level of criticism or rejection, and needs a woman to validate him.
A needy man is so much this way that he will be dishonest, put on a mask, and practically dance a jig in front of a woman in order to get her [positive] attention.
Sadly, what you get can be anything but positive or good. Even if it works like a charm in the beginning, the woman will likely drop you at the first sign of your true colors.
7. Be (Reasonably) Honest About Your Flaws
Secrets of attracting women: Yes, confidence is key, but when learning how to be more attractive to women, you also have to be honest about your flaws.
No man is perfect, and no woman expects a man to be.
Hiding your flaws by being dishonest means you are not open to accepting criticism, which can be perceived as neediness.
Of course, you don’t just want to blurt out everything you see as bad about yourself when you first meet, but when the opportunity presents itself, be open and honest.
Being comfortable with exposing your flaws is attractive to a woman because it conveys the message that you are not looking for some false approval.
In some ironic way, honesty about your flaws is a form of confidence in yourself; you may be flawed, but that’s OK and you have a lot to offer anyway.
8. Know Your Goals And Have Sincere Values
Secrets of attracting women: If you’re the guy still on the fence about who you are and where you want to be in life, it may not be time to ask yourself, “How do I attract women?”
The real fact is this: women are attracted to a man with goals and values.
It’s better to know your goals and have real, authentic values in life before getting serious about attracting a mate.
From a female’s perspective, no goals equal no drive or direction. No values equal a lack of self-control or discipline. None of this is attractive in a long-term mate.
Ladies like a man who knows exactly who he is, where he wants to be in life, and what he holds as important.
Trying to create a relationship with a man who knows none of this can be tumultuous and questionable because she’s along for the ride while you’re trying to figure it all out.
Whether it is instinctive or conscious thought, most women shy away from these men.
9. Avoid Being A Stereotypical Male Creature Of Habit
Secrets of attracting women: Guys tend to be pegged as creatures of habit more so than their female counterparts. The problem here is a creature of habit can also be perceived as boring.
Your goal should be to nip that perception.
Show that you can be spontaneous and have some level of an adventurous spirit.
You don’t necessarily have to be a thrill-seeker or adrenaline junkie, but you do need to show her that you’re capable of a little spontaneity and excitement.
Exude this part of who you are even in little ways, such as:
- Being open to trying a new food or type of food
- Not turning down the opportunity to try something new
- Offering to go somewhere you’ve never been
10. Invest In Yourself
Secrets of attracting women: In your effort to learn how to be an attractive man, you have to learn how to invest in yourself.
It can be a tough journey, especially if you are always the type to externalize your needs.
In other words, if you are always looking for your personal wants/needs/desires to be met by others, you haven’t invested in yourself.
As a man, you come hardwired genetically to be fine on your own.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys spend so much time looking to find that person to complete them that they have no idea how much they can accomplish on their own.
Women don’t fall in love with a man, but they can be with that man. If you’re not invested in yourself, a woman can sense it.
She knows her role with that man will always be to make up for his shortcomings within himself.
That’s not a role most emotionally stable females want to fill because her needs can be overtaken pretty quickly by yours.
11. Be A Man Of Status By Defining Your Purpose
Secrets of attracting women: Women are attracted to men of some form of societal status.
This is the fact, and it offers the illusion that you can’t attract a woman if you don’t have a big job, a fancy car, or a lot of money.
But that’s far from actuality.
It is not so much the status women care about—it’s the perception the man has about his status himself.
If you are the confident man who works really hard at his nine-to-five and knows what he brings to the table, you have status in the eyes of a female.
The guy moping in the corner, beaten down by life, and unsure of his purpose in existence doesn’t seem to have a lot to offer.
12. Send Out Some Positive Vibes
Secrets of attracting women: Women are not attracted to guys that could easily be described as Negative Nellies.
These are the ever-pessimistic dudes who always see the glass as half-empty and can’t see the silver lining in the cloud.
If you are this man by nature, do yourself a huge favor and try sending out some positive vibes instead.
Constant complainers can be taken as whiney and no fun. No woman wants that in a potential mate.