The most important questions before marriage that guarantee your happiness or unhappiness!

important questions before marriage: Use these questions to reveal shared values and potential differences before taking the next big step, whether from fun to fundamental.

It’s easy to lose oneself in the newness of a budding romance or the comfort of a long-term commitment.

However, according to relationship experts, the key to “happily ever after” is breaking out of the day-to-day zone and having meaningful, honest conversations about personalities, values, disagreements, and compromise.

The more you know about one another, the more confident you can be that the next step is the right decision, irrespective of what it means to you.

To help start this conversation and set the foundation for a healthy relationship, we’ve compiled a list of crucial questions to ask at important stages of your relationship, whether it’s deciding to be exclusive, moving in together, getting engaged, or walking down the aisle. Stay tuned for this section of Relationships on the Galgoli website.

important questions before marriage

Important questions before marriage should include:

1-What do you love most (and least) about me?
2-How sure are we about wanting (or not wanting) kids?
3-How do we handle conflict and confrontation?
4-What is your love language?
5-How are we with money?
6-How is your relationship with your family?
7-What are your aspirations and dreams?
8-Do we have different spiritual beliefs and philosophies?
9-What does our future look like?
10-Do you like surprises?

1-What do you love most (and least) about me?

important questions before marriage: Take this opportunity to gush about what you admire about each other, from physical appearance to intangible qualities, but also work in a healthy conversation about pet peeves. Notice if you find yourself hoping that certain things will change one day. This may mean you have some deal-breakers on your hands. Annoyances are normal, and commitment means accepting and living with both the good and the could-live-withouts.

2-How sure are we about wanting (or not wanting) kids?

important questions before marriage: More couples are choosing to forego having children, but it’s important to have an honest discussion about it, and not just once. People change, including their stance on having kids, so make sure you talk about how certain you both are about offspring and revisit the topic throughout the growth of your relationship. If you’re both sold on life with kids, dig into your future parental selves: What are your styles like? Do they align? When do you think you’ll be ready to be parents?

3-How do we handle conflict and confrontation?

important questions before marriage: Remember that adage: “Arguing is healthy?” It’s true! But what’s important is how you go about arguing and disagreeing. The way you handle stress and resolve differences will tell you a lot about how compatible you really are. Talk about your conflict resolution styles and see where you can improve, and discuss whether or not you’d be open to counseling in more difficult times.

4-What is your love language?

important questions before marriage: According to Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, there are five main ways people can express love and appreciation: affirmation, quality time, gift-giving, doing tasks, and physical touch. It’s important to know your own and your partner’s love language so you both can better understand what your relationship needs to thrive.

5-How are we with money?

important questions before marriage: In relationships, money matters. Discuss your individual relationships with money, including spending habits, savings vs. debt philosophies, earnings, financial goals, and how you each imagine those things functioning within your relationship.

6-How is your relationship with your family?

important questions before marriage: When you marry someone, you’re also marrying into a family. Talk about how important family and extended family is to you and your partner, the role you imagine they’ll play in your lives, and how holidays might work. The trick here is simply avoiding surprises and setting good expectations.

7-What are your aspirations and dreams?

important questions before marriage: Dreams can change, but it’s important to understand your partner’s passions, career ambitions, and even the places they want to travel to or live in. What do you both aspire to? What’s your partner’s dream job? More importantly, are you each willing to sacrifice for one another? What bucket list items do you have in common? Checking those off together would be a wonderful way to bring you even closer.

8-Do we have different spiritual beliefs and philosophies?

important questions before marriage: What does spirituality mean to your partner? Do you come from different religious backgrounds? These types of questions are important to explore early on so you can understand the role religion and spirituality may or may not play in your lives. If there are some significant differences, the key question is if you can accept and respect them.

9-What does our future look like?

important questions before marriage: Think about your lives five, ten, or fifteen years from now. What does that look like to each of you? This question can be a more helpful way to get at some of the above topics more broadly, like jobs, living situations, marriage, and kids. This will help bring to light your different expectations. It’s a good sign if you both get blissfully lost in daydreaming about your future together.

10-Do you like surprises?

important questions before marriage: It’s important to understand how your partner feels about being surprised versus making decisions as a team. For example, many couples today are broaching the subject of getting engaged earlier on and even shopping for engagement rings together as opposed to the traditional way of surprise, “I want to marry you!”

how to handle conflicts in a healthy way?

Here are some tips on how to handle conflicts in a healthy way:

Communicate openly and honestly: Be clear about how you feel, what you think, and what you need. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements, as this can help prevent the other person from feeling attacked.

Listen actively: Pay attention to what the other person is saying and try to understand their perspective. Show that you are listening by nodding your head, making eye contact, and repeating back what they have said.

Stay calm: It can be difficult to stay calm when emotions are running high, but it is important to try. Take a deep breath, count to ten, or take a short break if you need to.

Avoid blame and criticism: Blaming and criticizing the other person is not helpful. Instead, focus on the issue at hand and try to find a solution together.

Find common ground: Look for areas where you agree and build on them. This can help create a sense of teamwork and make it easier to find a solution.

Compromise: Be willing to give a little to get a little. Try to find a solution that works for both of you.

Apologize and forgive: If you have said or done something hurtful, apologize and try to make amends. If the other person has apologized, try to forgive them and move forward.

Remember, conflicts are a natural part of any relationship. It is how you handle them that can make all the difference. By communicating openly and honestly, listening actively, staying calm, and finding common ground, you can work through conflicts in a healthy and constructive way.