A lesbian couple said to sleep with a man: GP asked a lesbian couple trying to conceive why they couldn’t find a man to get pregnant with, according to Elisa Hillier and her husband Kaylee.
Alyssa, 32, and Keely, 35, from Manchester, said they were also asked if they needed “human sperm” to have a baby during the consultation.
In February 2023, the couple made an appointment with a GP at Orient Road GP in Salford to discuss their options.
The GP’s advice left the couple feeling “scared, hopeless and upset” and they decided to go private after three failed fertility treatments.
The couple are currently undergoing IVF and have launched a fundraiser to help cover their costs, which have so far totaled around £15,000 for the treatments.
To document their fertility journey, the couple has also launched a podcast called NoMoreMen.
Elisa, who works part-time as a careers and retail consultant while studying English and creative writing at university, said: “We went in thinking this was the start of our journey and that we were going to have a baby. From Bolton
“When we left, we just sat in the car in silence and were like, ‘Did this just happen?’
During the consultation, they said the male GP asked: “Do you know you need a man to have a baby?” They were also asked, “Do you know it has to be human sperm?”
“Then he just kind of glared at us and said, ‘Why don’t you go out and find a guy to sleep with?'” Elisa added.
The GP suggested putting them on a “three-year” waiting list for a fertility appointment with the NHS.
“He didn’t give any explanation of what he was looking for and said, ‘I don’t know how to help you or why you’re here,'” said Kelly, senior studio manager for the BBC’s radio operations.
All he said was, “I’m going to put your name on the list and you’ll be contacted”.
“He wasn’t rude or mean, you could tell he was just trying to understand,” Elisa added. “Why don’t you go find a man?” she suggested several times. And we kept repeating that I don’t want my wife to go and sleep with someone else.
The advice was so shocking that the couple couldn’t “believe it was happening”, to the point where they wondered if they were being pranked on a TV show.
Even when the couple attended a fertility webinar with the Care Fertility clinic in Manchester, they said the main focus was on IVF and male fertility issues.
“There was only one slide that said, ‘We can help same-sex couples,’ and it was a picture of two men,” Elisa says.
“It took us out of everything,” Kiley added. Eventually, the couple found fertility treatment in Denmark and felt more supported after talking one-on-one with a nurse.
“He explained everything in a natural, step-by-step way,” Elisa says. “After our experience, we were almost worried we were going to be a same-sex couple on this call, but he didn’t even blink.”
The couple decided on IUI because it was £3,000 cheaper than IVF, which costs more than £5,000. But the couple’s three attempts so far have been unsuccessful.
After finding a clinic close to home – Establish Fertility Clinic – the couple decided to try IVF and the clinic gave them a discount.
Elissa is currently on her first cycle and they will know in the next few weeks if the cycle was successful.
“We’re hoping that Kaylee will have a baby after I do,” Elissa said.
Kaylee added, “We hope that sharing our story will help others understand what they can do.”
“Any help we’ve had so far, no matter how much, we’ve been very humbled.
“You don’t feel like you deserve it and it feels like a privilege to have someone help us and help us have a family.”
You can learn more about Kaylee and Elissa’s experience by following @NoMoreMenPod on Twitter/X.